The Place to be (Part II)

Sometimes one has to remember and keep in mind the things that make her happy to make sure she doesn't fall into one pathetic depressed slumbery self-wallowing state.

1. Hanging out with my lab homies, watching wild rats get trapped on sticky tape. Ok its sadistic, but somehow mildly interesting, wish they didn't have to die though.

2. Having dinner with the girls, watching AI, Grey's Anatomy etc. etc.

3. Drooling over dragon-boater's, wondering where they are and what they're up to :P At YIH studying? Running 5km around NUS campus? Having sucky YIH dinner?

4. Going for coffee breaks, bazaar breaks, snack breaks.

5. Seeing him. Making fun of him. Laughing together, having fun. :)

6. Cancelling out a task on my to-do list.

7. Bitching online.

8. Voyeuuring blogs.

9. Peeking at naked neighbour (disturbing and disgusting yet just can't stop myself from looking over :S)

10. Going home, playing tennis, petting the dogs, seeing my parents make fun of each other.

Yeah, and I've finally updated hor. Shan, I donch wanna see no more Happy 2006! post on your bloggie. :P

The reason why people get fat during CNY.

Its the holidays and I don't feel like doing ANYTHING. Happy Chinese New Year btw! Gong xi fa cai as they like to say. Even though I've brought work home I don't feel like doing it. Even though I have my cap to pull up and resumes to send out I don't feel like doing anything! Even though even though even though.. I just don't feel like doing anything! I just want to nuah in bed and do absolutely nothing. RAWR! Its horrible and its counter-productive but what to do. Everyone is probably doing nothing too.. right?

Anyway, I think it has become very clear to me that I have boring relatives. Haha. Everyone else's relatives have so much more fun, playing mahjong, gambling, cooking together, feasting through the night. My relatives just eat whatever my mum cooks up, sit around, then go home. I mean they're nice people though. And the ang pows they give are da bomb. But dang I wish I had more fun cousins. The only cousin I see most of the time is pretty irritating and makes me just dread the thought of having kids of my own :S Sigh.

Boyfriend is having fun playing games with his fun cousins at his house and I am bored at home. And I am going to be even more bored at this family bbq they're having tomorrow. Sigh! I feel like just going to bed now.. and nuah again. Damnit.

The wonders of epilation!

Life is so stressful. Perhaps its self-inflicted. So busy and stressed up with thoughts of work that I almost forgot a good friend's birthday! Hehe, lucky I remembered in the end. So busy and stressed up with work that I'm starting to dream weird horrible dreams. Of my other good friend's face being cut up with a penknife. Thank god she wasn't screaming in pain but on the contrary seemingly unaffected, as if it was make-up the savage was applying to her face and not gaping expanading holes of bloody flesh. I wonder if dreams mean anything.

Sometimes the people you think are friends aren't really friends at all. Some people seem nice but are only being nice for a reason. Some people are always competing. Shall not be bothered so much by those people. Guess they aren't that important. I don't really care what other people say really. I only care what the people close to me have to say. And that's all there is to it really.

It is already the last week of January. And I have yet to produce significant lab results from the liver samples I collected. The cytochrome C elisa did not work. The protein carbonyl assay did not work. And now the JNK western blot did not work. Hopefully it will work the next time round. It better.

By the time my next birthday comes around, I would have graduated from my 16 years of academic education. 16 long years. I will turn 23, it seems old to me. I am not looking forward to growing wrinkles and sagging skin. More responsibilities will be laid on my shoulders. Repaying debts, working for real, doing everything an adult does. I don't wanna grow up... I wanna suck lollipops and sit on swings. Sighs.

Do you think the world today is in a complete mess? As time goes on and on, things change and change. Technology gets more advanced, globalisation is inevitable, global warming, environmental pollution, world population growing, but a specific question comes to my mind, or is more or less persistently making its reappearance. Are people losing their morality? I doubt it though. You still see some acts of kindness and humanity in the world today, but everything is getting so commercialised these days. Like the image of women. I guess they've always had it tough but have you been watching MTV these days? Geez, the number of wet, almost naked, grinding bronze bodies are almost an everyday affair. And I bet you more people are having sex now than ever before. So is sex associated with morality then? And does having more sex make you a bad person?

And the worse thing about it is that people don't really like to talk openly about sex. So the issue is hidden and the extent of it's popularity or rather practice, becomes literally an under-the-blanket affair, where nobody really knows. I guess what triggered all these questions is finding out that someone I didn't really know quite so well, but always thought I had a vague idea of what she was all about, really surprised me. And of course the revelation of how bad men really are. How they talk about what they do to their girlfriends, or their trips to Geylang, to their fellow attentive audience of buddies, like a proud parent showing off his child prodigy. But in this case its more of a how long did it last, what did you make her do, what did you do to her, all possibly said in a trophy cabinet exhibitionist cheery kinda way. I guess not all men are like that, but its interesting or perhaps disgusting to know how low some can go. Sigh I don't know... what else can we expect from men aye. But women! Not the women! My so-called 'acquaintance' was actually said to have started off an orgy involving 3 men and herself. Which sent me reeling in a rather shocked, bemused, non-believing then later disgusted, incredulous, how-could-she kind of reaction. I think all people have reasons for doing what they do, so she must have had her reasons, but the person I essentially perceived? To be capable of such a thing? Disbelieving and kinda grossed out is what it made me feel.

I used to think sex was alright. I mean, its not something to be given out indiscrimanately or carelessly what with the number of diseases flying about. But its more of an expression of trust and intimacy, accompanied with far-flung (the kind that sends you reeling off to the moon, orbiting around it, and back again) passion and out-of-this-world physical highs. But then I realise more people nowadays are concentrating on the far-flung bit rather than the trust and intimacy bit. I guess humans are humans, and we tend to get carried away by our hormones and do crazy stupid things sometimes. We of course have a right to, but there has to be a limit right? When does it become okay to fuck more than 40 people or have sex with more than one person at a time? Is the world today really making all of this seemingly normal and everyday? It seems so when you watch Sex and the City or when you visit sleazy places, I mean children are being used as sexslaves in Thailand! What the hell is wrong with this world. We're actually letting the adrenaline rush to our brains achieved in an orgasm make it okay for ruining lives, demoralising society and cheapening the expression of love. And then some people are argueing that saving yourself for marriage is a conservatist and traditionalist view, entrenched from Asian values, which have no place in the modern world of democracy today (read sarongpartygirl). So the freedom of speech, of liberty, of human rights also includes the freedom to consumate Anything (including animals and children) in any form physically allowed. I know it isn't legal to consumate children but do you know teens in America as young as 16 are fighting with their own mothers over their right to have their own baby? The Jerry Springer show.. hah, that's a real eye-opener. It's no wonder AIDS is spreading, people don't think anymore, they only want to have fun, and then tell their buddies what they did the next day over kopi or beer.

So now sex is more important to me. And I'm not about to give it up unless.. you know.. the time comes. Where the right person is there, the timing is right and everything is perfect. Yeah, I guess I had to get that off my chest. Good night peeps.


On a sidenote, just check out this new leather sofa cleaning detergent my mum bought??? Isn't it bloody amazing?!

Love is most important in your life. A high love concentration indicates that you want love in your life. It is very important to you and something that you strive to attain. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Sometimes its not because I have no time to update you diary. Rather some of the times, I just don't feel like it. Not wanting to write down how shitty I really feel or how things are going. Writing about my every move, what I did today, what I did yesterday. Its just so tiresome. So I guess I shan't. For now anyway. There's no rule to it anyway. Yea, I'm whining about nothing. Its not as if YOU dear diary, is forcing me to write and record down my daily activites. No, the diary is an inanimate object, it doesn't hold a gun to your head. However guilt does set in when diary is being left alone for too long. Bleh

So this semester's gonna be real busy. Everyone's stressing out. Projects being rushed, deadlines screaming to be met. So many things to be done. Bleh. Lets just not talk about it anymoe. So lets talk about why all are men bastards. First and foremost, the sole important thing they judge a girl on, is their looks. Lets face it. They're a shallow bunch, and there's nothing you can do about it. Secondly, they have an ego. Ego varies with the type of man. But they all essentially have it. Most of them have big ones. They're not humble, modest, considerate or sensitive, they only pretend to be, just to score points, which they consciously try to do to boost more ego. The real humble, modest, considerate guys, are the ones who grew up with girls. The ones with alot of sisters or the ones who've been through the tough times and know that there's absolutely no point being arrogant and self-centred, if not to a attract the scorn of many. But honestly, there aren't that many of them around. So don't tire yourself out looking. Thirdly, men think with their brains more than their hearts. Men are down to earth, simple-minded and logical creatures. They know that 1+1 is 2 and 3+4 is 7. What they want is simple too. Money, women, (maybe) a family, and recognition. They do things for a reason. They plan, calculate, devise, counterplan, backup and carry out their actions with strategy and purpose. Its not like there's anything wrong with this. But I just find it way too boring. Why must they be so bloody boring. Why can't they be more spontaneous, step out of the box a little, do something stupid and silly and laugh at themselves after. Men are jaded.

I know I'm going on and on about men sucking so bad you're probably thinking oh I had another fight with boyfriend. But no, he's been essentially pretty well-behaved, albeit displaying slightly puzzling behaviour on one occasion, but all it prooved was that he cared, so no complaints there. But I keep hearing people being hurt in relationships, losing faith in love, thinking that all men are bastards, or all women just toy with men's feelings, its all getting too depressing. I think people get plagued with thoughts. We were having lunch, and one of my friends, this really pretty girl, so nice, so demure, so goddamned perfect, actually thinks she's not good enough for her boyfriend. Me and my other friend catch each other's eye across the table and essentially go "WTF?" at the same time. And she gets all depressed about it sometimes. I wonder why people get depressed. Actually I think I kind of know. Things happen, and you ponder over it. You think and you think about it till the problem seems to grow and magnify into a world-wide disaster (your world that is) and becomes so overwhelming and unbearable that you don't know how to handle it and it essentially destroys your life. That's when you break down. But its so silly to think over something too much. Feelings can be controlled. One can make oneself not feel sad really, if you really wanted to. But most choose to wallow. Its saddening. Go out! Get some supper! Drink some alcohol! Talk on the phone! Watch a comedy! And when things get brighter and cheerier, then devise a solution to solve the problem and everything will be alright! See.. so easy wad. Bleh. Instead ppl get depressed and angry, then take it out on me, making me depressed and angry. Rawr. Angsty people are infectious.

Anyway its the weekend. Friend going away to the army. *Waves goodbye* Hang in there girl, don't let those assholes of men get in your way. Also going to MOS to check things out. Hear they have beds there :P But reminder to self: Read journals. Do materials/methods portion of thesis. Research on protein carbonyls. Start on microb lab report. Yes. Shall stick to resolution indeed. *warcry!!!*

Hotness - Hotness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. This indicates that you are mostly into having an attractive partner. You prefer to date around, and don't usually get attached. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Its always great having a flock to fly with :)

Its the new year and its time for resolutions. One wonders how this whole resolution thing got going. Its not like every resolution is going to come true. People don't really have it in them to stick through it all, they tend to get tempted and fall by the wayside on the path to that ultimate goal they set themselves up with in the beginning of the year. It's stupid really, all these new year resolutions. But hell, I'm going to make a list anyway.

1. Pull my cap up to above 4. Hell, I tell myself this EVERY SINGLE FREAKING semester and the most it goes up by is like a 0.02. Its pathetic. But of course I can only blame myself I suppose. I shall be a complete freak and do subpoints to this resolution to ensure I totally fulfil it.
- Make a calendar and plan out what I am supposed to do within the week. I wanted to put every single day but I felt that would be a tad too extreme. Would it? hah.
- Make sure I carry out those plans.
- Give myself a good smack in the head and a telling-off if I find myself doing nothing for too long a period. This ensures subpoint 2 gets done.
- Not get too carried away by silly thoughts about things that are not essential to the main objective (see main point 1)
- Give myself encouraging pep-talks periodically to make sure I do everything to the best of my ability. Use 'leaving an ever-lasting legendary trail of successes and accomplishments' as inspiring baton to pass on inexhaustable energy to inner spirit so as to accomplish aforementioned task(s). As they say, isn't it all in the mind?

2. Get a good job
This is tricky but essential to the outcome of my future lifestyle. I need something interesting, challenging, dynamic and hopefully pays well. To accomplish this:
- write a stunning and impressive folder-binded resume, plus cover letter, plus personal particulars, interests, accomplishments so far and send it out to prospective well-established companies. You know I was fine with just emailing them a copy of my resume and a little note/letter but dad has convinced me to do the former. So don't look at me that way!
- send it out before anyone else does. Hahaha.
- you know once I get a good job and start working and earning the big bucks I can accomplish main point 3 and 4 (see below).

3. Look beautiful
This is more of a whim than anything else. It involves clothes, makeup, shoes, amore lessons, hair appliances, intelligent gadgets. Everything I ever wanted to have but didn't have the money to afford. I know some people out there may have the impression that I'm a rich little princess but believe you me I am so not. Of course I understand I may not make that much. And besides, I should be saving money for more important unmaterialistic stuff. I know I know, but at least give me a leetle bit to play with every month and I will be appropriately satiated.

4. Make parents happy
If I earn big and get to save up enough I want to send them on an unforgettable vacation and get them to retire for good at long bloody last.

5. Be an understanding friend/daughter/sister/girlfriend/dog-owner
All the material things in the world can never replace the warm relationships I have with the people in my life. So friends, you know you're important. I may look busy sometimes and all but I don't think I'll ever be too busy for a phonecall or a drink (be it alcoholic/non-alcoholic). I'll probably be busy next semester tho, hahaha. But I should be a total socialite when I start working :P I hope. Boyfriend doesn't read this but I hope it works out for us. My resolution in the relationship is to not let my thoughts drift too much and get out of hand. Notice and treasure whatever he's already done and reciprocate in kind. Always take it easy, enjoy the company and ride the waves. Too much thinking kills the relationship sometimes. So just enjoy the company for now. And when the going gets tough, be there. And know that everything will be alright in the end. That line ALWAYS sounds so reassuring doncha think? Oh and I shall not forget the family and bring the doggies out for walks more frequently. :P

Alrighty that's enough resolutions for the day. Hope you guys have a great 2006! :D

This is QM trying to chew up some rat intestine. Down boy down! Don't do it!!


A rat's small intestine can run up to longer than a metre by the way. I personally washed the shit out of this one :P

2005 is finally over. I think it was probably the most eventful year of all time. The India quakes, Michael Jackson not guilty, hurricane Katrina, boyfriend and I getting together, leaving Singapore on that crazy US adventure, coming back and killing more than 20 mice, having the torture of exams all over again.

The most significant thing for me in 2005 though would probably be the US trip. Nothing can beat that. Living 3 months in another country, working at Seaworld, away from everything you've known, doing everything yourself and living independently. Meeting new people, with new cultures. Seeing New York and her beauty. It's just so indescribably exhilarating I'm probably going to rave about it for the rest of my life. And its this trip that armed me with the knowledge that I can take care of myself as well as the fact that I love to travel. Yup, may the new year be filled with many more adventures.

Second significant thing would probably be the whole boyfriend saga (still ongoing). Its pretty hard getting to know someone. Sometimes I wish there was this program I can just enter someone's name in and his whole personality will pop up in a chart full of facts and figures. It would also have a calendar which shows his daily mood and what's on his mind hourly. Would save a whole lotta trouble really. But I guess it would also kill the mystery and enlightenment about the opp sex. Let's just hope it all works out.

Last of all, I hope all you guys had a great 2005 and will have an even better 2006. Here's to our friendship and the fun to come. Cheers. *chink*