The Place to be (Part II)

Walking to an imaginary bus-stop.

Had a job interview today. Worried I may not be able to get this great job though. Talked to 4 bosses, they were all nice, I may have screwed up a lil' with the real head honcho though, who asked some questions which I couldn't answer :S I'm worried. Worried about the competition I'm up against. Worried that if I don't get this job, what else am I left with because none of the other companies responded to my emails. Just worried. As always. Haha. Anyway, it's kind of a dream job now after I met the people working there, they're all super nice and friendly and they play paintball together! And the pay I hear is pretty impressive, which would be nice. But let's not count our chickens before they hatch. I somehow have a bad feeling that it will all come to naught when it boils down to it, just like almost everything else in my life, though things have been going good so far. Ok, shall not dwell.

Drowning in deadlines, failed experiments, group projects and impending exams. This semester has to be the busiest ever. No time to go out or have fun anymore, I think its crunch time from now on. Guess Brokeback will have to wait. Sigh.

Should not think about anything else and concentrate on finishing my thesis/poster/exams for now. Yes, that's what I need to do.

Doesn't this look like a Ms Singapore pose.. hah. The contestents are damn ugly this year tho!!!! *pui*

Life's been a blur. Things going by so fast, deadlines one after another, as well as failed expts one after another. Don't think I've ever been this busy in my life, haha. Even the boyfriend is free-er than me now, and never fails to irritate me by singing really bad falsetto's in an attempt to copy Ace Young's Butterflies, or by demonstrating his unclamped freedom by sitting on my bed and reading the newspaper's while humming/singing to himself, while I sit at the desk trying my hardest to get some real work done.

But I guess I'm also at my most efficient? Looking at my calendar everyday and seeing what tasks lie ahead and which one requires the most immediate attention, focussing on getting it done, and then proudly ticking it off my task-list when done with it. Did you all realise Microsoft Outlook has an organiser/calendar? It's pretty neat.

It's real stressful tho'. I think some people though, have never really encountered real pure stress before in their lives. Ever get that feeling where it seems the weight of the world lies on your shoulders, you walk around with a constant nagging thought of whether you had forgotten anything and while sitting on the toilet bowl, you contemplate and plan what you're supposed to be doing and mentally give death-threats to yourself if those things don't get done? Yea, well, that's pretty much how I feel most of the time now. So don't mind me if I seem lost in thought or you catch a distant far-off look in my eyes, I'm probably going through the next day's protocol in my mind, measuring cylinders and all.

At the same time I guess its a challenge though. I get this feeling that I'm doing alot of things in a day, and that's kinda satisfying. However it does get frustrating when you do many things in a day for naught. Like when you get western blots which look like they've been drenched in black ink :|

And I realised that I may have possibly screwed up my own chances of getting a job. Kind of mentioned the job and company to a friend in passing, and she applied for the same thing and met the same guy, and talked about the same stuff. :| Hm, it could either mean he's hiring more than one person, or that he's PLAYING THE FIELD. DAMMIT. Sent out another wave of resumes in my state of panic, shock and despairing doom, seeing as I was competing with a bloody USP (uni scholaarrr lar) student. But she's nice lar, the type I think I can get along with damn well if given the chance to hang out with more. Hope its the former. Sigh.

Alright, bath-time.


I wear goggles and breathe through a tube when I take a bath. How 'bout yoo?

That's us at Kennedy Space Centre. That place is pretty cool, best part was seeing the gigantic space rocket.. their IMAX films are however, EXCEEDINGLY boring. Everyone emerged kinda drowsy :P hah


The behind of the huge-ass rocket.

Hey again

Studying for a test next week but I can't get something out of my mind. I'm weighing out my options between being completely honest and trying to be deliberately vague. Hah. Well the truth is, it dawned on me that some friends aren't really your friends when you come to think about it. Friends respect each other and do not deliberately make you wait or feel shitty. Friends like that I'd rather not have, and to think they're not really that remorseful about it or don't attempt to really make up for it is disappointing and it kind of hits you in the face thinking how much time you spent with them. I used to think I was being too sensitive, maybe they have their reasons for being late, but it never failed happening time and again. So yea, it's really not worth it waiting around for people like that.

Boyfriend was on the contrary, especially worth having around. Haha, he came over to the East and we had thai food. The mango salad at thai express is da bomb, along with to fu Tod and tom yum talay, it became such a spicy affair that boyfriend had to run off to the toilet. *muffled laughter* But it was all good.. according to jo, all boyfriends seem to be behaving very well this time of the month. Could be due to a special alignment of the stars and moons, casting a 'be-good-to-your-girlfriends' spell on those cavemen. Haha, hope it lasts.

Last night I was in busy mode on msn and I kept getting msgs from ppl! Some ppl I didn't even know that well! What's with that? Maybe its cos they think I'm not around or something. But finally got to chat with ronnie, a flurry of updates, gossip xchange, problem-sharing within a span of a few min. I think she's the first normal friend I ever had really. Hahaha. At least ever since I got to know her, I've gotten to know other normal nice ppl who are on the same wavelength. Not that the ones I met before weren't normal or anything, haha, just a little different I guess, similar interests does spark chemistry and content (unlike contempt :P). Its hard to find people who are truly nice these days, I mean everyone's nice to a certain extent, but you never know what's going on in their minds. They could be nice just to get something or they will do things for you but expect something in return. But then once in a while you meet some special people who are truly genuine and would help despite the odds being against them, just cause.

So yea, my expt failed again last week and I hafta repeat it on monday. Fellow mate MS also experienced similar consequences. We are so meant for each other, she even confesses she loves me. Hahahah, Loves being able to whine and complain to me rather, which I don't mind cos I do the same to her too.. life's all abt da bitchin'!

Alrighty, betta get back to work, dang progress is sloowww.

Hello all *waves weakly*

Today's a depressing day. Totally screwed up a pretty major experiment and essentially 8 mice died because of my stupidity. I shouldn't have attempted doing so many things at a time in the first place. Saves time but quality of experiments drop, and risk of making mistakes triple. Fark. So pissed with myself. And those poor innocent mice, sigh, I'm going to hell for sure now :(

Its infuriating. Science. Research. 90% of the time you hardly get any results. Most of the time is spent optimizing and doing trial runs, and making mistakes and wasting time. It's a freaking vicious cycle. It's only that 10% chance that you get beautiful results that's the driving force to keep on at it. That's why people get sick of it after doing it for some time. It gets really tiring after a while. My brain's about to burst thinking of the amount of expts I have yet to do and counting down the number of days I have left to write my thesis. I've been slping at 2 and waking up at 7 and running around in lab all day. Today I didn't even have the time for lunch, thank god Beidi gave me a pumpkin bun her mum made. Otherwise I would probably have collapsed from light-headedness and have my stomach corroded with gastric juices. I finished lab at 8 plus today. Missed my muay thai kickboxing entirely. There goes $4.50. And the boyfriend as usual is busy with his meetings.. I resorted to emailing my mum and whining about today. Its sad, I know. And I realised I feel better with people around me. When I was killing the poor micies at the animal centre, no one was around..the corridors were dark, the music had stopped playing. It seemed like I was the only person on earth and I was doing something evil with blood, scalpel blades and scissors lying around, it seems too much like a gory event from CSI. But when I went back up to lab, 2 of my labbies were there! WoOt! So glad to see them, I almost wanted to hug fellow HYP mate, MS. She too had come in at 7am+ today and I was so happy she was still around at 8pm+ too! Suffering together! HAhaha, perhaps tis a tad sadistic but I enjoy her companionship. She cracks me up sometimes and she's a good person :) And its always great having someone to go through the tough shit with ya, we both have to write a 15,000 word thesis, and we feel each other's pain, that's for sure.

Went to the nearby hospital to get food. This old auntie overloaded my dabao rice with sweet and sour fishcake/beancurdskin thingy and beancurd cos she was closing up for the day. Woot! My tummy was completely deflated and yet appealingly flat. Bloated up again after the food tho. Watched a little of AI and fell asleep on the bed. I didn't even know when I fell asleep, it just happened and I woke up slightly dazed. Had a bath and brushed up my microbio lab report for tomorrow. Thank god I did all my assignments early otherwise I would have just died-ed. It pays to be guai. Tomorrow's a long day of lectures. Ah well at least its not lab. Entirely sick of lab now. Bleh.

Okay its 2.30am and its another early day for me tomorrow. The torture doesn't end. Looking forward to going Genting with the boyfriend after exams. The thought of running away to foreign lands with someone I dun mind being with :P is one of the nice thoughts which will pull me through this disgustingly torturous time. It better happen. :|