The Place to be (Part II)

Everyone has secrets. Do you sometimes get the feeling that you're not exactly as normal as everyone else thinks you are? That some part of you that's hidden to the rest of the world makes yourself so different from everyone else, and it would be shameful to let everyone know how you really are cos it's just that. Shameful. Like you've done something bad, something sinful, like stealing or bitching, or thinking nasty thoughts, plucking that sinful fruit from the evil tree. You know you're not supposed to do it, but you do it anyway. And you make excuses for doing what you did, but in the end there is no excuse. And you know it. I guess no one is ultimately sin-less, and we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves. But really, there's a choice in everything, and something called a conscience that we all have which tells us whether what we're doing is Right or Wrong. Can a conscience be modified? Obviously. If everyone is around you is doing something, even if its the worst thing to do in the world like god forbid, killing puppies, you would do it too eventually. Just cause everyone else is doing it and you can't differentiate between whether its a wrong thing to do or just something that can be done and is socially acceptable. Humans are a weird bunch aren't they. Nothing is absolute.

That's why we have religion. Something to follow, to make sure we're doing good and not deteriorating into an immoral abyss. I never really realised it until now. That some people are conservative becuase they've been brought up like that. I always think oh they're such prudes, they need to live a little. But really, there's nothing wrong in it. In fact, its actually good to have a religion cos it keeps you in check. Being a free thinker is more of a challenge cos you have to keep yourself in check. I suppose it allows for more freedom of thought, but it also has a risk of not living up to so-called moral standards. Then again, a religion is not full-proof in assuring the person follows its moral teachings and lives a 'righteous' life. Nothing is full-proof anyway. In the end, its all up to one person, yourself, to make the decisions in your life. No one else. But no one can claim to be THAT righteous, I'm sure even priests have their naughty moments, its human nature. And life would be boring if everyone lived by the rules and did the right thing all the time. Then there would be no complications, the story would not be a story anymore cos there are no twists and turns and life would be an ultimate mindless bore. So I guess in the end some mistakes are unavoidable but their severity would be proportional to their consequences and we should all try to not make Too many severe mistakes. But some little mistakes are acceptable, like eating a rich dark chocolate cake and oily bacon once in a while. Yup, that should definitely be acceptable but of course, not something you'd do everyday. Then you'll just die young. And make your loved ones really sad. Which is a bad consequence. But then again, maybe no one really cares when you're dead anyway. :P

Oh well. I've got 2 more exams to finish before I am released from the pinching yet somewhat comfortable grip of academic school life. I cannot wait. :)

I forgot to mention that I made many more prized possession in Uni. :P How can I forget the dinner khakis!!! U girls are the sweetest nicest people ever, and we all know girlfriends rule and boyfriends drool, or in my case, burp. And I know we shall still be having dinner AND drinks *wink wink* in the near future and hopefully forever. I don't want to be a dowdy old auntie who sits at void decks, goes to the market or plays mahjong at home. I want to hang out at Cafe Iguana or Wala Wala till the age of 80 or when I'm physically incapacitated. So there!

I think I will never understand why I can sit for 10 hours straight staring intensely into my laptop screen, clicking away furiously on my multicolour glowing mouse, and typing at inspirational spurts while doing my thesis/lab reports/assignments. But yet, when I'm surrounded in a pile of paper work, faced with an empty unfilled piece of foolscap paper and note-filled lecture notes just dying to be read, my mind wanders off to other nonsensical things, like what I should have for lunch, how I can't wait for Genting. And occasionally I find myself surfing blogs, looking at my msn, and checking my reflection in the mirror only to eventually end up plucking my eyebrows or doing something else equally time-consuming and of no significant importance. Then I think to myself how I only have 7 days left till my first exam and not many days in between for the next 2, and I force myself to sit down and read, only to have the whole cycle repeat again 10 minutes later. This is really really bad and should stop, soon. I mean, look, I'm actually updating my blog.

Oh well. I'll just piah hard tomorrow. Perhaps should really go to YIH by my lonesome self and hole myself up in a corner of the study room so I have no escape from the 'books'. The only thing is, those darn IVP dragon-boaters are bound to be there, and they alone make for a perfect distraction by themselves. And I just know they know that I've been checking them out. Damn. However, I'm actually enjoying this peaceful solitude in hall. I suppose its because its the last few days I'll be spending on campus for the rest of my life. And I will honestly miss it. It's high time to move on to greater things though, the time to leave has come at a perfect phase. I just feel that this is right, its time for my entire school life to end now. It's been sucha long 16 years. Starting from primary school (I didn't count kindergarten cos we didn't study there did we? And there were no exams there, kindergarten was a happy time) all the way up to this day, tortured by the stress to perform, to read all those textbooks and all those papers, to spit out every single detail in the exams so that I can get a certificate which entitles me to move on to more books, more spitting and more certificates. What a never-ending cycle.

But I have to admit, the Uni days were probably the most eventful of them all. My pri sch days were kinda sad, those convent bitches weren't very nice playmates. Or perhaps I just didn't fit in, oh well, was in the past. Secondary school was helluva fun though. I especially liked acting as a delinquent, hanging out at MacDs with a rowdy bunch of noise-makers, playing catching in the library and getting scolded by dowdy librarians, throwing fruit onto roads and laughing hysterically as cars drove over them with a huge 'SPLAT' followed by them nasty fruits sticking onto the tyres as they rolled away. Hanging out at my friend's houses, esp my rich friend's house where he had an entire upper floor as his bedroom with a pool table and living room all to himself. Having them come over to my house where we stayed up all night and played Cluedo, then walked to Siglap at 2am in the morning holding candles and torches. Those are crazy fun things everyone should do when their parents are away on an overseas trip and your bro's in NS. Hehe, anyway JC was alright. Classmates were a nice bunch and we kept ourselves entertained with movies, eating, ktv-ing etc. TJ however is a pretty boring place, haha, at least there were funny guys to keep me amused (by funny I mean guys with slick hair plastered in a side-parting, walking around like they're always in a hurry and looking a bit like la pi xiao xin.. yup, I forget his name now, but he's in NUS, and oh the amusement never stops, he's now sporting a slick armani cut but still rushes about in the same manner. I think he thinks I'm checking him out. hehe. Damn.) Anyway, UNI however was where all the drama was at. Haha, I shall not delve into the details of my private life but I'm glad I came out of all of it with a prized possession, the boyfriend. hehe. Oh yeah, and a degree.. the FINAL certificate... I hope.


The young days are the carefree days. The old days are coming, filled with debts, bills, taxes and insurance. Pui. And I'm turning 23 next month, how horrifying is that. Alright, it's 3 am and I feel like I've done zilch today. Go me. Goodnights people.

And so it's been awhile.

Life has been... relatively good, despite the hectic schedule and impending deadlines. The best piece of news of course, is that, I GOT THE DREAMJOB. :D :D :D But it looks like that means I have to kill more animals :S Ah well, at least its being substantiated by a healthy sum of money and a nice working environment. I honestly cannot wait to get my first paycheck. I've decided that I'm going to apply for the UOB Ladies Card no matter what. Which means I get 2 free Amore/Cali Fitness lessons every month, dine for free at 250 outlets (upon earning SMART$, some point system I guess), get frequent flyer miles!, travel concierge, discounts at tonnes of fashion shops and beauty care services, 10% off yoga classes, discounts off medical check ups... and and and.. much more. :D So exciting can, I can finally buy whatever I want with my own money and not feel bad about it. And my friend managed to get a job there too (whew), so everything's just gonna be peachy.

In other news I've more or less finished my thesis, although I've still got to add on to my results section which is why I'm in lab at 7.30 in the morning playing with membranes and washing solution. But all the three weeks of not going home and staying in school to piah has paid off, cos my Prof just loves me now. Or rather he loves my work and 'wishes I could stay', aww. The exams are coming tho. And I still have two more major assignments due. But in just 3 weeks time, once all that is done, I'll be eloping with the boyfriend to Genting Highlands! Woohoo! Hahah. We're gonna live like royalty, and sit on all the rides (except the up-down pluging one), and eat tall ice creams, and GAMBLE, and drink, and pig out on the King-sized bed and drink hot cocoa and cup noodles in the cold cold mountains. WOOT.

And once I come back it will be mAmBo mAmBo and a non-stop flow of magaritas and/or beer... haha, can't wait. Then then then.. it will hopefully be DIVING in the perhentian islands. Discovering a whole new world underwater and getting to know fishies up close and personal. Then.... it will be back to work. Haha, they want me to start on the 22nd May. Eesh.. not much of a break is there.

So everything is going amazingly well. Boyfriend although irritating is still schweet and thoughtful (prob thanks to my excessive complaints). Family's happy for me too, and the folks have moved their work office back home. So I guess that means I'll be spending more time with my mum, would be a good time to learn all her recipes. So I guess I oughta thank God for being such a great dude and letting me have everything I want. So what if we're all pawns being moved by a giant hand, I'm happy whenever I get to eat another pawn and that's all thats important. I'm so sleepy. Nites.