The Place to be (Part II)
Thoughts. Not necessarily in a stream.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Angsty post
I find it hard not to be influenced by other people so much. But all you really need to do to live life as oneself, truthfully and honestly, is stick to your guns and follow through. Follow the gut as one would say, don't think so much, just do it. That doesn't mean doing things without thinking at all, consider the factors involved, and make the best decision, the decision which follows what YOU think is right, instead of what OTHERs may think is right.
The boyfriend can be such an ass sometimes. One moment he tells me I'm the best, the nicest, the prettiest, and the next moment he's checking out someone else's ass, 'appreciating' someone else's 'sensual' way of living, and not minding being someone's toyboy if it meant living an extravagant lifestyle and sleeping with an older jamie-yeo look-alike. You know it really makes me wonder, why HE wonders why I don't believe all the 'sweet' things he says. When he says stupid things like this. What does he really want? What do all men want? Money, wealth, women and power? Then why do they bother getting married? You know what all women want? Its all really too simple. They want three things:
1. They want to feel special.
2. They want to be understood.
3. They occasionally want to be entertained.
Maybe the boyfriend just wants to rile me up or something. Well, it definitely worked, but its more disappointing than anything else. And I hate being so affected by it. It just shows weakness. Maybe I should distance myself so I wouldn't feel so affected. But then again, that's exactly what I did in the past, and that is not going to work for the rship. But its such an OLD issue, the fact that its come up again is like an ugly monster rearing its ugly head. Ah fuck it. I guess I should practice selective non-hearing and pretend it never happened? But that would just sweep things under the carpet wouldn't it?
Men are just so full of themselves, it makes me sick.
The boyfriend can be such an ass sometimes. One moment he tells me I'm the best, the nicest, the prettiest, and the next moment he's checking out someone else's ass, 'appreciating' someone else's 'sensual' way of living, and not minding being someone's toyboy if it meant living an extravagant lifestyle and sleeping with an older jamie-yeo look-alike. You know it really makes me wonder, why HE wonders why I don't believe all the 'sweet' things he says. When he says stupid things like this. What does he really want? What do all men want? Money, wealth, women and power? Then why do they bother getting married? You know what all women want? Its all really too simple. They want three things:
1. They want to feel special.
2. They want to be understood.
3. They occasionally want to be entertained.
Maybe the boyfriend just wants to rile me up or something. Well, it definitely worked, but its more disappointing than anything else. And I hate being so affected by it. It just shows weakness. Maybe I should distance myself so I wouldn't feel so affected. But then again, that's exactly what I did in the past, and that is not going to work for the rship. But its such an OLD issue, the fact that its come up again is like an ugly monster rearing its ugly head. Ah fuck it. I guess I should practice selective non-hearing and pretend it never happened? But that would just sweep things under the carpet wouldn't it?
Men are just so full of themselves, it makes me sick.
The SP, 3:27 PM
