The Place to be (Part II)

These are overgrown pumpkins in a sciency garden at Epcot, World Disney Orlando. Now that's what science should be for, making humongous pumpkins so we have a never-ending supply of yummylicious pumpkin juice.

I guess I'm sorry for the lack of recurrent updates. Poor diary, you've been neglected. I guess I forget that this place serves as an outlet of frustration from which I can spurt and blurt anything on my mind (within set boundaries of course, we're in spore y'know) and just let my fingers run loose on the keyboard. Right now my mind is a flurry with thoughts. Its funny tho'. One night while sleeping over at boyfriend's, I kept him awake with my inexplicable restlessness. I could not sleep, mind was thinking too much, while he on the contrary was already in a state of slipping consciousness. Hehe, I was being unforgivably mean not letting him sleep, forcing him to talk to me instead. He moaned and groaned and whined but we did manage to carry out a half-baked conversation before falling off into dreamland. It was about what we were going to do this weekend and utterly mundane stuff, but it worked in getting me to sleep. hahah. I did tell him tho, that I was worried. About everything, that's how I am y'know. One of the main things I'm worrying about now though.. is the future. Or perhaps more specifically, my future job.

A job is so different from a subject in school. In school, there's pressure alright but you just have one goal, score well, or at least try to. And it's simple really, you can't go very wrong. Even if you fail, you just have to retake the subject and hopefully pass the second time round. Just get through it. But then what? You leave school with a piece of paper with your name on it, and maybe remnants of the tonnes of books you skimmed through, bits of notes that you memorized here and there, and faces of teachers and lecturers telling you what the definition of photosynthesis is, or what they thought of your 'performance'. Then you get thrown into the big ol' world where you're supposed to search for that perfect job. You know the perfect job? One which pays like lots of money a month, puts you in a nice office with a good view, lets you work with cool people you can chill with after work at the nearby pub, and gives you promotions and salary increments so you know what you're worth. There are challenges everyday which you learn new skills in overcoming, setbacks abound but they're just part of the learning experience, the boss never puts any pressure on you cos he trusts you to do it right. In reality does that ever happen?

Right now I'm studying sciency stuff. I find it alright, pretty interesting, but what kinda jobs are there which deal with that now? Perhaps its my expectations. I suppose I could ask my Prof for a position in his lab once I finish school to extend my research there. But then again, what would be the point if I've already spent a year there doing that project? Wouldn't it be better moving on to a perhaps more dynamic environment? The lab there now is a'ight, the people are kinda nice, but, its not really as dynamic as I would like it to be. The Prof is exellent though, totally understanding and a real good boss. I suppose the only advantage to staying is I could probably write and publish some papers in my name. I mean, that's research. Yet.. I still ain't satisfied! I want that job where I can really really test myself and see what I'm capable of achieving. And it can't all be about research. Bending over a lab bench, messing with something day and night, night and day, and finally revealing something brilliant with a breathtaking flourish. Sure, that would be something. Maybe I should start off with that. But I know I'd want to do something even greater, something which impacts people. Damn, why suddenly so ambitious? Machiam I wanna be Prime Minister :S

Raawwrrr.. right now I can't even figure out what 'dissolve HBSS in 0.5M HEPES (20 ml) + 980ml dH20' means. I think too much donch I!!!!!! Gimme some alcohol to stop this brainwave!~